There are experiences and times living in San Francisco that would make any person think, "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?" I had one of those moments last week.

I walked into my local coffee shop to grab a mid-afternoon pick-me-up. While I might live near the 'loin, my pick-me-ups come in 8oz cups, not clear baggies. I walk in and the place is busy, with two SFPD officers in front of me. They order their coffees, and the barrista comps them their drinks. Hey, whatever. I have no problem with that as I get comp'd free drinks at bars a lot. Treating your frequent customers well is good business 101. I place my order and stand next to the bar waiting for my au lait. During this time, I watch a homeless guy push his cart up the street and "park" it directly in front of the door, blocking access. He walks in, sees the two cops, reaches in between them, and grabs a couple of spoons from the "stirring jar". He shoves them in his pocket and calmly walks out the door, continuing up the street with his cart. The two cops continue talking with each other.

The barrista asks, "hey did that guy just steal my spoons?" The cops look at him, then go back to talking to each other. About 3 minutes later, one of them decides to do something about it and gets the spoons back from the homeless guy.

Now a few things are a bit crazy here. First, this is probably one of the more audacious "homeless swipes" I think I've seen since I moved to San Francisco. Seriously. This guy up and steals some spoons from a jar which was physically located in between two uniformed SF police officers. Ballsy. This might be the seventh seal of the apocalypse, and the end is nigh. Or at the very least it might be a sign to move to Burlingame.

The other crazy bit is SFPD's complete ineptitude, laziness, and ineffectiveness. I say ineffective because police presence is supposed to deter crime. When you're not afraid of the police, anarchy reigns. I guess that explains the open air drug deals in the Tenderloin in front of the SFPD station there. Don't get me started on the fact that these guys had a pair of free coffees from the business, and they debated whether they should do anything for a good three minutes. Make a note, don't give anything to SFPD and expect anything in return. Obviously they haven't watched Silence of the Lambs. Quid pro quo Clarice.
Alternatively, this post could be titled, "Mr. Smisek, your airline is in serious trouble."

I always raise an eyebrow whenever there's some sort of service disruption somewhere because someone says "the computers are down" or "the system won't let me do it." Chances are, they're just feeding you a line. The reality is that they don't know how to use the system (either lack of training or intelligence), or they just don't feel like working right then. Sure, systems do break, but not on the frequency that we hear about "the computers being down" constantly. We live in an age where someone sitting on their couch in Omaha can push a button and instantly trade billions of a foreign country's debt in milliseconds, but you're telling me that I can't pay for this taxi with a credit card because your reader is broken? Bullshit.


You know the drill. Getting something large delivered so you have to sit at home all day waiting for UPS. It's unavoidable as some things just can't be delivered to work. So I take off work and sit...and wait...and wait...and wait.
It's almost 5PM and nothing at all. I'm thinking "huh that's pretty late" so I walk down to get a coffee from the place right across the street. I see the UPS guy parked in his truck writing something down. I think "yay I'll get my stuff -- lemme just grab a coffee real fast." Even if he rings the callbox, I can let him in from my cellphone. "Push 9 for remote package delivery." I look over from the coffee shop and see him heading over to my place. Not 20 seconds later, I'm turning around from the coffee cash register and I see the guy driving off. He just ran up, put the notice on the door, and took off. I chased him for like half a block but gave up after I realized that I stepped in dog/human shit (fuck you San Francisco). I also realized that this dude was calling it Miller Time. 5PM. End of his shift. Nobody in this fucking town works (fuck you San Francisco).

I call and complained. They can't find the "InfoNotice" number in the system. Gee I wonder why. That's because he didn't put it in the system he just wrote it and ran. The girl on the phone sounded upset (maybe it was her first day) and would put me in touch with the right people. Someone called back about 10 minutes later and said that they could have the driver "meet me somewhere near my house" and I could pick it up. a) fuck you b) it's a 40lb package c) I paid for delivery to my house not "somewhere near my house" They said it would be delivered sometime tomorrow. I said fuck that gimme a confirmed delivery window. They said that they couldn't do that. I said BS you charge people $40/year for that "privilege" you can give it to me for free so I don't waste another day away from work. She said "oh yeah, right. OK we'll get back to you."

It's almost 7PM and my package is still showing up as due for delivery by end of day. No attempted delivery. Nothing. Fuck 'em.

I wonder how much of our economic and thought power is wasted each year waiting around for the slapdicks at UPS to work their room-temp IQ's. Now I have to miss work again tomorrow.

For grins, here's my Yelp review of their service center from 3 years ago:
Just wanted to spread the good word about the fantastic San Francisco event that is Stern Grove. I've been a few times in years past, so this year I donated some moolah to their cause. Money well spent. This year's lineup has been great -- Stephanie and I went to see Aaron Neville on Sunday. We both really enjoyed the concert. Just look at the smile on this girl!
Anyway, I encourage everyone to check it out and give them some loot if you do enjoy it. Hell, give them some loot anyway. The concerts are free, so they really do need donations to keep operating. Plus, if you donate over a certain amount, you get reserved access to these cool picnic tables and on site parking.

Stern Grove website